Monday, August 3, 2020

August Check In

It feels so incredibly surreal to me that it's August. Logically, I know that it's not March, and that time has been passing, but it feels like those five months have passed in the blink of an eye. August always seems like the signal that summer is winding down soon, and fall is looming, but that feeling seems so far away right now!
I thought it'd be a good time for another check-in because I'm just feeling really weird about everything right now. It's really hard to think about all of the time "lost" to the pandemic - summer is always my favorite time of the year, and I definitely didn't expect to ever spend an entire summer in my home. And I think that my anxiety is also starting to creep up again knowing that with fall comes cooler temperatures, and so much of my mental health right now comes from spending time out in my yard and on my deck. The thought of being cooped up inside all day for months at a time is super overwhelming.

I've also been doing my best to really focus on the day-to-day, and not think about how long this might all continue... but every so often my mind will wander ahead to my birthday, to Thanksgiving, to Christmas... and again, it's just really hard to think about. I never deal well with uncertainty, and this is uncertainty on a huge, huge scale. Sometimes it feels like it's just hitting me all over again, five months down the line. And I don't think I'm the only one - I'm hearing a lot more about closures or delays "for the foreseeable future," without even an attempt at a date, because really, who even knows?

So it's just a weird time for me, right now, and I'm trying to just get through it day by day. I'm trying to take advantage of being outside in the sunshine (while I still can), and seeing friends (from a six feet plus distance) and just trying to not think too much about what's coming ahead. It's not worth getting ahead of myself, especially because if there's anything that these past few months have taught me, it's that so much can change so quickly, with very little notice.

How are you coping?

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